Beautiful World, Where Are You by Sally Rooney

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Well, this was my first Rooney book and I had some expectation for it to be a literary masterpiece with well-written characters and no plot in general. I guess it had no plot but it failed in characters for me. For the genre of contemporary and writing a novel with little to no plot, there must be strong characters to pull off.
I was disappointed.
Characters
1.Aileen: She was so obnoxious and petty. She was one of the topper kids in high school who refused to grow up; she topped in college and was exceptional. She failed to secure a good job and blamed it on capitalism. She was not well written. I didn’t get her arc. Perhaps because there was none. I had predicted the ending. I wish we got more to see of her career rather than her relationship with Simon. It would’ve been interesting to see someone like her realize the futility of achievements and intelligence in the workplace and how she dribbled on with her life, her passion and her career. She is also the most immature out of all the characters. I didn’t want to judge her, but I did because she seemed too artificial and swaying on high ground while us mortals are given the task of empathizing with her problems.


2. Simon: I liked him despite his very evident flaws. He was an interesting character and his monologue at the end made me shed a few tears. I was disappointed because we didn’t get much of him. I really wanted to know him and his beliefs. But, the only information in the book we get is from his relationship with Aileen, which was disappointing, since I wanted him to see him as a full-fledged character.

3. Alice: At first, I found Alice to be a bit pretentious. But, she wasn’t obnoxious throughout the story. I realized how deep her hurt grows and could even relate to her a bit. She isn’t perfect, in fact, none of the characters are, but she seems the most real to me. I could relate to her in some sense and I feel others will too. Again, I wanted more of her backstory and warts and all of her functioning. I felt her decisions, even the bad ones, to be relatable. A good character, in all.

4. Felix: I don’t have any strong opinions about him. He was a mixed bag. It seemed he was intentionally put as a character to further Alice’s development and call out on her eccentric behavior. My respect for him grew throughout but again I feel he was just there. He could’ve been more of an interesting character. His work problems could’ve been explored more.


Overall, it was a surface-level exploration of characters and themes. It seems some info-dumping on the writer’s part was done and pieces of white guilt were placed carefully in between without too much suspicion.

I didn’t like the writing style either. Although it was beautifully described, I felt irrelevant details creeping in and the writing was so simple, thought-provoking only at the surface.

I thought this might be a complex character exploration with themes of capitalism, existentialism, climate change, etc. deeply woven into the characters’ journey. Instead, what we got was the writer’s own thoughts on those subjects which were quite contradictory at times.

Also, there were a lot of sex scenes that were too annoying with weird fetishes explored. I couldn’t feel the intimacy anytime. I’m sex-repulsed, so might be biased by the fact. But, I do appreciate good ones like the ones in the TV adaption of Normal People.

Overall, this book wasn’t for me. There were some good moments too which I enjoyed. But, it’s far from the best book written.



View all my reviews

We all have, at one point in our life lost someone or something. Well, the life after it does become harder and we are supposed to become stronger after the experience. But, what if some of us don’t and we falter down the spiral loosing our own selves in the journey.

I have been struggling for days so that I could take control of my life. Trust me, this might have been the thousandth time I have failed in doing so. The most annoying part of this journey so far is that in the whole process-I have lost myself. The previous me was a person who was kind, extremely helpful, excited, passionate, highly ambitious,soft spoken and lastly a fighter. I was the kind of person who wanted to spread love because I loved myself from within.

It does not bugs me when I lose things that are not in my control. It bugs me when I lose myself- when I’m ready to compromise on my values that hold my character for some instant gratification or any scenario.

I have this feeling again. I feel the pain getting alive again, waking up from its deep slumber. I don’t know why but I guess I expected a lot from the world. SPOILER ALERT: The world owes you nothing. You are not entitled to it!

I have grown to accept that this pain is real and will stay with me forever maybe, however hard I try to escape from it. It will germinate in various forms and there is no point left in rejecting it or running away from it or thinking that it does not exist.

I just realized something today. However hard you try to explain to people the pain and mental trauma you had gone through, they can never understand it totally. They may support you, sympathize you and even try to empathize with your pain. But, none of them can totally understand it because they have not lived with the exact same pain you’ve gone through. That’s the truth. The plain, blatant irreplaceable truth.

Th truth is I don’t know anything now. Absolutely nothing. I am just an observer to this supposedly “real world.” I just think that there exists a higher reality perpetuating since eternity; unchanged and surreal. And, this world is just a mere illusion-nothing more than that. I don’t still yet understand the point of thriving and surviving in this world. What’s the point of this all? These existential questions have been lurking around in my mind since ages. Result: Unanswered. Maybe, I will never understand it or will never get to know these answers. But, that’s curiosity of human mind for you-the question always remains, whether answered satisfactorily or not! That’s just one of the things that makes me go awe about humans. Its like , I’m just alive now just to understand human beings, their emotions, states along with the serene yet sometimes deadly nature and every teeny-weeny thing that exists.

I don’t know why I’m here but if I am then I’m just an observer even of thine self. Supposedly, my mind wants to know more about me and my personality, my positives and negatives. But, I just don’t want to label myself or anyone depending on their body or mind. I just am. Everyone just is. It is just the way it is. That’s it. Change is the only constant thing. Everything born eventually dies. Death is as much real as life. It is the truth. Denying the truth won’t change it. That’s it! Everything is the way it is and is constantly evolving. Evolving into what? That’s another mind boggling/philosophical question!

Death-an enticing yet a delusional word. Some people consider this an omen, a bad thing. But isn’t death a part of life? Or is it separate, far from life? I don’t know and maybe if I ever do I won’t be able to tell.

Afterlife- the question of its existence is in itself is a paradox. If we already have a life, what is the point of afterlife? Is it different from the life we live and in what ways? Well, maybe the question would be rendered unanswered for eternity!

Death is an integral part of life…….Death makes life more meaningful…..Death is mourning……Rest in peace!….blah…blah…..and the list goes on.

But, why is death considered to be something sad and something akin to life and yet totally opposite of it? Maybe, its not, maybe it is. But, one thing is for sure, Death is inevitable. No one can ever deny this fact.

For me, I relate death with peace. I always had, I just never realized it until today. The strange idea of death and peace associated with it is something surreal. Sometimes, I just shut down my eyes and imagine the universe with its stars, galaxies and voids and I imagine I am traversing through it with God guiding me through it.This is what comes up when I think about death and peace. Its like I’m in some sort of a trance. And I wish this spell never breaks.This is what I think about death and at one point in my life I yearned for death,for this strange quirky dream to come true. And this is what I’m imagining right now. Sometimes, a thought sprouts up-maybe this life is not meant for me. Maybe I just don’t wan’t what its giving me. I just want to experience the dream in an infinite loop.And maybe that’s the reason I never feel contented nor happy. Every happiness of mine is doomed to end with tears of sadness. And that’s why the idea of life and its complexity irks every cell of my body.

And I contemplate that maybe life and its never ending complexities don’t have a meaning for me. Maybe death has the meaning that I’m searching for!

Freedom: A word with an innumerable set of meanings-each pertaining to a different mind. A word with the most vivid sets of imagination.

Freedom is what most people dream of, most people aspire to, imagine to and cling too. Some search for it , fight for it;others find it within their own self. A mind can only experience freedom once it is free from itself and its manifestations. The state of pure bliss called by some and utter bullshit by rest!!

Enough of preaching!

Days back, I looked at life with a black and white filter. But, that’s just one way of perceiving it. I had a previous attitude of what-must-be-done-must-be-done and what can’t-be-done-must-also-be-done. This was my attitude some months back. Pretty realistic!! Just set a goal, work your ass off; whatever be the result-repeat. Never give up was my policy. The mantra to get successful professionally. But, wait what about the success of one’s personal self?

I am not saying the method was bad at all. But, at the end of it-I felt hollow. I felt a big hole that tortured me for 3 months. I did not know how to fill this hole. I kept trying different things, different ways; which by the way I’m still trying to fill this hole-this gap and guess what!! I still don’t know how to fix it.This hole will be there always, we can temporarily fill it with stuffings-our special sugary stuffings, bitter ,sour,salty etc. But, that hole never went away. Strange, right?

And that’s where the problem began-when I started serving the “hole”. It made my life hell with no escape button. I still don’t know whether I’ve recovered or not. I felt I was trapped, grasping for some thing that could take me to shore. I did grasp some amazing things and I’m in the process of self-healing.

Then I saw what I wasn’t able to see in months. I saw freedom,liberation starting right in front of my eyes; hidden in plain sight for days. I realized that “freedom is an illusion”. The things I thought would liberate me, strangled me and left me helpless whereas the things I thought would entangle me, trap me actually liberated me. For me, the experience of freedom was contrary to what I had believed. Maybe, that’s why we need to liberate ourselves from our mind and body to see the true colors of life without any filter!!

I found freedom in the most unexpected and chaotic place. I hope I use it in the best possible way.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton