Freedom: A word with an innumerable set of meanings-each pertaining to a different mind. A word with the most vivid sets of imagination.
Freedom is what most people dream of, most people aspire to, imagine to and cling too. Some search for it , fight for it;others find it within their own self. A mind can only experience freedom once it is free from itself and its manifestations. The state of pure bliss called by some and utter bullshit by rest!!
Enough of preaching!
Days back, I looked at life with a black and white filter. But, that’s just one way of perceiving it. I had a previous attitude of what-must-be-done-must-be-done and what can’t-be-done-must-also-be-done. This was my attitude some months back. Pretty realistic!! Just set a goal, work your ass off; whatever be the result-repeat. Never give up was my policy. The mantra to get successful professionally. But, wait what about the success of one’s personal self?
I am not saying the method was bad at all. But, at the end of it-I felt hollow. I felt a big hole that tortured me for 3 months. I did not know how to fill this hole. I kept trying different things, different ways; which by the way I’m still trying to fill this hole-this gap and guess what!! I still don’t know how to fix it.This hole will be there always, we can temporarily fill it with stuffings-our special sugary stuffings, bitter ,sour,salty etc. But, that hole never went away. Strange, right?
And that’s where the problem began-when I started serving the “hole”. It made my life hell with no escape button. I still don’t know whether I’ve recovered or not. I felt I was trapped, grasping for some thing that could take me to shore. I did grasp some amazing things and I’m in the process of self-healing.
Then I saw what I wasn’t able to see in months. I saw freedom,liberation starting right in front of my eyes; hidden in plain sight for days. I realized that “freedom is an illusion”. The things I thought would liberate me, strangled me and left me helpless whereas the things I thought would entangle me, trap me actually liberated me. For me, the experience of freedom was contrary to what I had believed. Maybe, that’s why we need to liberate ourselves from our mind and body to see the true colors of life without any filter!!
I found freedom in the most unexpected and chaotic place. I hope I use it in the best possible way.
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