I have this feeling again. I feel the pain getting alive again, waking up from its deep slumber. I don’t know why but I guess I expected a lot from the world. SPOILER ALERT: The world owes you nothing. You are not entitled to it!
I have grown to accept that this pain is real and will stay with me forever maybe, however hard I try to escape from it. It will germinate in various forms and there is no point left in rejecting it or running away from it or thinking that it does not exist.
I just realized something today. However hard you try to explain to people the pain and mental trauma you had gone through, they can never understand it totally. They may support you, sympathize you and even try to empathize with your pain. But, none of them can totally understand it because they have not lived with the exact same pain you’ve gone through. That’s the truth. The plain, blatant irreplaceable truth.
Th truth is I don’t know anything now. Absolutely nothing. I am just an observer to this supposedly “real world.” I just think that there exists a higher reality perpetuating since eternity; unchanged and surreal. And, this world is just a mere illusion-nothing more than that. I don’t still yet understand the point of thriving and surviving in this world. What’s the point of this all? These existential questions have been lurking around in my mind since ages. Result: Unanswered. Maybe, I will never understand it or will never get to know these answers. But, that’s curiosity of human mind for you-the question always remains, whether answered satisfactorily or not! That’s just one of the things that makes me go awe about humans. Its like , I’m just alive now just to understand human beings, their emotions, states along with the serene yet sometimes deadly nature and every teeny-weeny thing that exists.
I don’t know why I’m here but if I am then I’m just an observer even of thine self. Supposedly, my mind wants to know more about me and my personality, my positives and negatives. But, I just don’t want to label myself or anyone depending on their body or mind. I just am. Everyone just is. It is just the way it is. That’s it. Change is the only constant thing. Everything born eventually dies. Death is as much real as life. It is the truth. Denying the truth won’t change it. That’s it! Everything is the way it is and is constantly evolving. Evolving into what? That’s another mind boggling/philosophical question!
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